— Why is the rum gone?
— One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think that there is even the slightest chance — that they won't see it?
— But why is the rum gone?

And that was without even a single drop of rum.

— Is this a dream?
— No.
— I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.

— Are you drunk?
— Not yet, but I'm working on it.

— And where's Sarah, by the way?
— She couldn't make it in today. Family thing.
— There's a word for hangover I've never heard before.

Now I'd like... a nice double whisky with another double whisky as a chaser.

— This must be the bite-the-dust section. Some kind of broom closet.
— Maybe we should have asked?
— Oh sure! "Nurse, we need salt and lemons, because we want to get drunk with Tequila!"

— So what do we do now?
— I say we get drunk, kids — because I'm all out of ideas.