Rufus

— You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
— I can't wait to die.

— So what do we do now?
— I say we get drunk, kids — because I'm all out of ideas.

Bethany: — It's been a while since physics but I would think the impact with which you hit would have liquefied you.
Rufus: — Death is a worry of the living. The dead, like myself, only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.
Jay: — Told you he was the undead.

We were sent by Him who is called I Am!

See, your exploits, no matter how inane are well documented in heaven. Probably hell too.

— You knew Christ?
— Knew him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks.

A very basic strategy — if your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.

— This girl's no woman.
— Oh. Those weren't tits I saw Jay cozying up to?
— What, these? You should know better than anyone here that tits don't make a woman.
— The tubby, coat-wearing motherfucker's got tits.

— Crisis of faith over?
— I think I'm now burdened with an overabundance.
— When it rains, it pours. Are you saying you believe?
— No. But I have a good idea.
— Yes.

— ... I think I've been a pretty good sport about all this so far. But I'm not going anywhere until I find out where you came from.
— Me? I came from heaven. Now let's start walking.
— Walk? Fuck you! Do you know how far we are from anywheres?
— Hey, man, back in the old days with J. C., we used to walk everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle?

— Wars, bigotry, televangelism. The big one, though, is the factioning of all the religions. He said mankind got it all wrong by taking a good idea and building a belief structure on it.
— You're saying having beliefs is a bad thing?
— I just think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. People die for it. People kill for it.