— You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
— I can't wait to die.

Funerals, I'd decided, are not for the dead. They're for the living.

— I helped him bury the body. What are best friends for?

I am coming up there right this minute! If there is no dead body in that room by the time I get up there, I'm gonna make one!

— We're really grateful, Jack.
— I'm not doing it for you.
— Then why are you doing it?
— Because someday, trust me, I'm gonna need help moving a body, when that day comes, I don't wanna hear any shit from you.

Lying to a dead man is the same as lying to yourself.

And like most guests having a good time, they didn't wanna leave.

It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool.