Doug Murphy

— Dr Kelso, none of my patients have died today.
— Really? Mr Ferguson's corpse begs to differ.

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— Doug! Why are you hitting me?
— I thought you were dead, coming back to life!
— Then why were you hitting me?
— Dead people should be dead!

— Dr Cox, I have a patient with blennorrhea. Do you think that's interesting enough to present to Dr Kelso?
— I'm sorry, Nervous Guy, but I can't do your work for you. So head to the library and look it up in the New England Journal of «Who Gives a Rat's Ass»?