Serendipity

— For example, I'm responsible for 19 of the 20 top-grossing films of all time.
— Nineteen?
— Yeah. The one about the kid by himself in his house burglars trying to come in and he fights them off I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get grosses up on that piece of shit.

You should know better than anyone here that tits don't make a woman. <...> What traditionally defines a woman falls between two things: Her legs.

So you were an artist — big deal. Elvis was an artist, but that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. That's why he's the King... and you're a schmuck.

It doesn't matter what you have faith in, Just that you have faith.

But one of the drawbacks to being intangible is that you have no say in the editorial process. The people that held the pens added their own perspective and all the penholders were men. So she became a he. Doesn't stop with God either. The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again. Women are bigger antagonists than Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.

— This girl's no woman.
— Oh. Those weren't tits I saw Jay cozying up to?
— What, these? You should know better than anyone here that tits don't make a woman.
— The tubby, coat-wearing motherfucker's got tits.

I have issues with those who treat God like a burden instead of a blessing like some Catholics. You people don't celebrate your faith, you mourn it.

It doesn't take a muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets.

— If we're wrong, what religion is right?
— It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, Just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta wake up.