Marge Simpson

— We're gonna be rich! We can finally start a family!
— We have a family.
— A better one.

Lisa, welcome to love. It's full of doubt and pain and uncertainty. But then one day, you find a man you love so much, it hurts.

— Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.
— You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.
— Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies.

— The plant called. They said if you don't come in today, don't bother coming in on Monday.
— Woohoo Four day weekend!

— ... please God — kill sideshow Bob.
— You can't ask God to kill someone.
— Yeah! You do your own dirty work.

— Have we ever had a party? And that drink with champagne and musicians and priests?
— It was our wedding!

— Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
— Batman?
— No, he's a scientist.
— Batman's a scientist.
— It's not Batman!

— I’m sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we’re the worst family in town.
— Maybe we should move to a larger community.

— Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
— Well I’ve got a whole list of chores. Clean the garage, paint the house.
— Woah woah woah. I’m just trying to get in. I’m not running for Jesus.

— Mom, are those rabbits dead?
— No, Lisa, they’re just sleeping... upside down... and inside out.

Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!

— Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
— Well in that case, He should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.

— Awww, I hate folding sheets.
— That's your underwear.

— We're late for church.
— Oh, I'd love to go with you honey, but I got a lot of work to do around the bed.

— Marge, where's that... metal... dealy... you use to... dig... food?
— You mean a spoon?
— Yeah yeah yeah!

— Okay, Marge. And who's that gentleman you're with?
— That's no gentleman. That's my husband.
— Wow. Mom got a laugh. I wish she drank every day.