Yeah. Another day, another box of stolen pens.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

Shoot 'em all, and let God sort 'em out.

But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old. Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.