The Simpsons: Short Quotes

Yeah, and I'm not that easily impressed... Wow! A blue car!

— Really?
— Yeah. Well, we're all somebody's children.

Everybody makes mistakes. That's why they put erasers on pencils.

— We're gonna be rich! We can finally start a family!
— We have a family.
— A better one.

Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. The lies come later.

— Gee, sorry for being born.
— I've been waiting so long to hear that!

Stupid risks are what make life worth living.

Yeah. Another day, another box of stolen pens.

My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream!

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Remember when I said I would eat you last? I lied.

Money doesn't change you, it just makes you more of who you are.

He died as he lived — like a dork.

— Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at.
— Well, hookers and Spider-man.

— Oh, my God, I do want a brother.
— You can have mine, but he's kinda lame.

Poking dead raccoons is not research.