Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

I've come to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels.

Don't worry, head. The computer will do our thinking now.

What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.

To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day! But to be hated, you don't have to do squat.

I believe the children are our future, unless we stop 'em now!

If only these walls could talk. Then people would pay to see my talking walls.

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

— Mom, are those rabbits dead?
— No, Lisa, they’re just sleeping... upside down... and inside out.

Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy. A dinosaur!

Marge, it takes two to lie: One to lie and one to listen.

He found out who was cobbling shoes for me at night. Turns out I have severe schizophrenia.

I'm going to find out what Dondelinger did last summer! Twenty-two years ago! In the winter!

Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking!

Oh my God! Space aliens. Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!