Pregnancy Quotes

— Oh! It kicked. I think the baby kicked.
— Oh, my God.
— Ha, ha. Oh, no, wait. Oh. That was the elastic in my underwear busted.

— Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting.
— Deduction?
— Increased appetite, change of taste perception... you were sick this morning... You assumed it was just wedding nerves. You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. All the signs are there.
— The signs?
— The signs of three.
— What?!
— Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test. Well, the statistics for the first trimester are...
— Shut up! Just shut up.
= Sorry.
— How did he notice before me? I'm a bloody doctor.
— It's your day off.
— It's your day off!
— Stop. Stop panicking.
— I'm not panicking.
— I'm panicking, I'm pregnant!
— Don't panic! None of you panic. Absolutely no reason to panic.
— Oh, and you'd know, of course!
— Yes, I would.

— She's pregnant! You're supposed to tell her what she wants to hear.
— Yeah, like remember when Carla was preggers and we all told her how beautiful she was, even though she looked like George Lopez?

I'm Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out.

— I'm pregnant!
— Pregnant with a baby?
— How long have you been sniffing those markers? Of course, with a baby.

— Look, I feel like I can give you a list of things that are sucky about being pregnant. For starters, I'm now horny as I've ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.
— Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes so tight and then do you.
— Thank you for the sacrifice.
— It's because I love you.

Get a real pregnancy test. You know, the one with the blood and the hormones and the rabbit.

Pregnant women are among a select group of people who are actually allowed to act insane. Much like sports mascots, local weathermen, theme park performers and that guy with the question-mark jacket who teaches people how to get free money from the government.

— Wow, pregnancy's a wild ride, huh? One minute she's loving and affectionate and the next minute she's, well...
— Cruel? Vengeful? Castrating?
— I was gonna say "moody".
— Wait for it.