Friends [Season 5]

Joey Tribbiani: — Remember when they fought and broke up... and we were stuck here all night with no food? When Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it'd happen again. So I hid this in here.
Monica Geller: — Candy bars, crossword puzzles...
Phoebe Buffay: — Mad Libs! Mine!
Chandler Bing: — Condoms?
Joey Tribbiani: — You don't know how long we'll be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler Bing: — And condoms are the way to do that?

— I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
— Do you want us to leave the room?

— Hey, dude! Let me in! I got a girl out here!
— I got a girl in here!
— No, you don't. I saw you go in with Monica.

— What are you doing?
— Storming out.
— It's your apartment.
— Yeah? Well, that's how mad I am!

But they don't know that we know that they know.

— I don't want Rachel to hate me. I don't know what to do.
— You want my advice?
— Yes. Please.
— You won't like it.
— That's okay.
— You got married too fast.
— That's not advice.
— I told you.

She gives the worst massages ever! It was like she was torturing me for information. I wanted to give it up. I just didn't know what it was!

— You know what? I'll throw a party. For everyone in the building. And I'll sit them all down and explain that I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy... who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
— Sounds like a fun party.

— Someone at work ate my sandwich.
— What did the police say?

— What are you guys woofing about?
— Chandler stole a 20 from my purse!
— You know what? Now that I think about it... I constantly find myself without 20s, and you... always have lots.

— I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick.
— Action or comedy?
— Action.
— Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?
— Dude, you are sick.
— I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.

Flying a jet? Make it a spaceship... so you can get back to your home planet!

— Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality sphinx cat.
— How much did you pay for that?
— It was extravagant, but I got a good deal.
— How much?
— Thousand bucks.
— On a cat?
— My grandma had one when I was little. It was the sweetest thing. It would sit in my lap and just purr all day long. I would drag a string and it would chase it.
— Free cats do that too, you know.

— Can you hear anything?
— Yeah, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"

— Phoebe, you may know this. You know strange things. What is the boiling point of brain?
— I used to know this.

— Am I a complete idiot for thinking she'd actually show up?
— You're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
— Same difference.