— I need to get some air. We're going out tonight.
— Actually I've got a date.
— What?
— It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun.
— That's what I was suggesting.
— No it wasn't. At least I hope not.

Intelligent, fine. Let's give "smart-arse" a wide berth.

— So why are you talking to me?
— Mrs Hudson took my skull.
— So I'm basically filling in for your skull?
— Relax, you're doing fine.

— No, no, no! Course he's not the boy's father. Look at turn-ups on his jeans!
— I knew it was dangerous. Getting you into crap telly.

— Run! Take my hand.
— Now people will definitely talk.

— You don't seem very afraid.
— You don't seem very frightening.

— There are lives at stake, Sherlock. Actual human lives! Just so I know, do you care about that at all?
— Will caring about them help save them?
— Nope.
— Then I'll continue not to make that mistake.

— No, I know you for real.
— 100 percent?
— Well, nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.

[Looking at the mannequin hanging by the throat]
— So did you just talk to him for a really long time?

— Did he offer you money to spy on me?
— Yes.
— Did you take it?
— No.
— Pity, we could have split the fee. Think it through next time.

— There's a woman lying dead.
— Perfectly sound analysis, but I was hoping you'd go deeper.

— Don't staring.
— You're staring!
— We can't both stare.

— We should call the police.
— Yes.[Shoots five times in the air] On their way.

— That's how you get your kicks, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever.
— Why would I do that?
— Because you're an idiot.