Friends

— Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
— He could hear me.

— The door's closed. I can't see anything with the door closed.
— And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

— What are you doing?
— Storming out.
— It's your apartment.
— Yeah? Well, that's how mad I am!

— So you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
— Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him.
— See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.

But they don't know that we know that they know.

— Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
— Yeah, sure.
— By someone besides Monica?
— No.

— I don't want Rachel to hate me. I don't know what to do.
— You want my advice?
— Yes. Please.
— You won't like it.
— That's okay.
— You got married too fast.
— That's not advice.
— I told you.

— So who broke up with who?
— You kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
— When everybody knows that the, uh, capital of Cambodia is... Is, uh...
— It's not Sean Penn.

She gives the worst massages ever! It was like she was torturing me for information. I wanted to give it up. I just didn't know what it was!

— You had a crush on me?
— All right. It wasn't a crush, it was a dent.

You know what they say: Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.

— You know what? I'll throw a party. For everyone in the building. And I'll sit them all down and explain that I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy... who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
— Sounds like a fun party.

— I talk in my sleep.
— What a coincidence. I listen in my sleep.

— You can't live off your parents your whole life.
— I know that. That's why I was getting married.

— Don't say that I have no sentiment. This is a movie stub from our first date. This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed. This is from the museum, the first time we... were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.
— I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Though... you're not supposed to take these. It's like a million years old. We actually... We have people looking for that.

— You don't believe in gravity?
— Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.