Phoebe Buffay

— And there's $500 extra in my account.
— Satan's minions at work again!

— Where's Chandler?
— He needed time to grieve.
— I' m free! I' m free!
— That ought to do it.

— I'm smoking!
— You've been so good for three years!
— And this is my reward.

Phoebe Buffay: — What's wrong? Why so scrunchie?
Rachel Green: — My father wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Ross Geller: — That guy, he burns me up.

Smelly cat, smelly cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
It's not your fault.

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head
And grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers

— What you guys don't understand is... for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
— Yeah, right.
— ...
— You serious?
— Oh, yeah.
— Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
— Yeah, I think, for us... kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through... before Pink Floyd comes out.
— Yeah, and it's not that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.

— Is Frank home?
— How do you know Frank?
— Just from a long time ago. Is he here?
— Yeah. Frank.
— Yeah. What?
— Oh, okay, um, I mean Frank Senior.
— He went out for groceries.
— Will he be back soon?
— He left four years ago. We're expecting him back any minute.

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

— What's with the coat? How about the animal rights thing?
— I've been reading up, and for your information... minks aren't very nice.

— You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work. It's compromise. Do you always like it? No. Do you do it? Yes. Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky... coffee at Central Perk. It's real life, okay? It's what grownups do.
— I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.

— Chandler!
— Well, at least let me smoke it to the good part.

— Could you close that window? My nipples could cut glass.
— Really? Because mine get me out of tickets.

I wasn't rich like you guys, okay? I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony.

— While Ross is on the phone... everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
— Is there any chance that you're rounding up from... you know... from like 20?