Phoebe Buffay

— I love you.
— I love you more.
— It`s impossible!

— Is that a hickey?
— Oh, no, I just... I fell down.
— On someone's lips?

— What am I sitting on?
— Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out.

— I know what you guys are going to say.
— You two would have very hairy children.
— I didn't know you'd say that.

— That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
— Now you only have to find a planeload of people... whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.

I'm Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out.

I can see that. A plate of brownies told me a limerick.

— Hello, people who do not live here.
— Hi.
— I gave you a key for emergencies.
— We were out of Doritos.

— Come on, you didn't kill anybody. These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's just a coincidence.
— Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!

I'm in the shower
And I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget

— Hey, Mon, what is this?
— Oh, um... That's my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then.
— Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rains.

— You can't give up on your dream!
— No, it's okay. We're going to have three kids. And that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.

— I should get back to work.
— Otherwise someone might get what they ordered.

— Anyway, I think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
— Someplace nice.
— How much you think I can get for my kidney?

— We haven't known each other for that long a time. And, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life. Two, I never lie. And three, I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.
— Okay. Thanks, Pheebs. Mm, my God. Why have I never tasted these before?
— Oh, I don't make them a lot... because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.