Phoebe Buffay

— Have you told him how you feel?
— Yes. Not out loud.

— So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
— What I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
— Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?

Friends

Season 1

— Look what we almost left!
— That's not mine.
— Look what we almost took!

Joey Tribbiani: — Remember when they fought and broke up... and we were stuck here all night with no food? When Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it'd happen again. So I hid this in here.
Monica Geller: — Candy bars, crossword puzzles...
Phoebe Buffay: — Mad Libs! Mine!
Chandler Bing: — Condoms?
Joey Tribbiani: — You don't know how long we'll be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler Bing: — And condoms are the way to do that?

— Remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
— Yes, but there isn't always time.

— I think my marriage... is kind of over.
— Oh, no! Why?
— Because Carol's a lesbian. And I'm not one.

— Oh, my God! Something brushed up against my right leg.
— What?
— Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.

— "Heating device."
— Radiator.
— Five letters.
— "Rdtor."

— So you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
— Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him.
— See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.

— You don't believe in gravity?
— Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

— Phoebe? Do you have a plan?
— I don't even have a "pla."