Joke Quotes

— How do you feel, Georgie?
— Saint-like.
— Come again?
— Saint-like... You see, I’m holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?
— With the whole wide world of earrelated humor at your disposal, you go for holey? Pathetic.

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

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Marilyn Monroe

Ironic Quotes

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow...

— Hey. What's he like?
— God? Lonely... but funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Sex, for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
— Sex is a joke in heaven?
— The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too.

— Jaskier.
— Yennefer.
— The crow's feet are new.
— Yeah, well, your jokes are... old.

Yennefer of Vengerberg

Jaskier (Dandelion)

— I never know whether you're joking or serious.
— I'm at my most serious when I'm joking.

— We`re going to the realm of monsters?
— We? No. Me. You are gonna stay here with the other chicken. That`s what i`m talking about. Gimme some. Come on! That was a good one. How do you not get it? I called her a chicken, there`s a chicken on the boat. I know she`s human, but that`s not the... You know what? Forget it. Forget it! I`m not explaining it to you. Cause then it`s not funny.

— So, not seeing an entrance.
— Yes, because it only appears after a human sacrifice. Kidding! So serious!

Jest with an ass and he will flap you in the face with his tail.

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English proverbs and sayings

Fools

Face

Meaningful Quotes

A joke never gains an enemy but often loses a friend.

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English proverbs and sayings

Friends, Friendship

Enemy

They chatted and pretended to be light-hearted, and Maitland tried a joke which fell flat upon its face and died, squirming beneath the insincerity of the laughter that its telling had called forth.

First, he forgets me.
Now he leaves me with you.
Hey, you know what? Your father works like a dog to make sure you have everything.
If he's not there for you it's just because he's trying to stay out of federal prison.
I think he needs to have sex.
I was kidding about prison, Jake.

— Stupid and tedious... That's what I think of all this.
— Who do you think you're talking to?
— You, Sergeant.
— I'll break you in. I had three horses killed under me.
— Alas, the best always go first.

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Fanfan la tulipe (1952)

— I almost have a senior fairy moment. Don't you move. This is my greatest invention ever. Amnesia dust. You throw a pinch, the kid forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds.
— Yeah, right. Come on.
— That's how it works.
— That's how what works?
— Amnesia dust. You throw a pinch, the kid forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds. That's how it works.
— That's how what works?
— Amnesia dust, you throw a pinch the kids forgets everything that happened for the last few seconds. That's how it works.
— That's how what works?
— Never gets old.

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