— What did the insurance company say?
— They said, "You don't have insurance. Stop calling us."

— You idiot!
— I'm sure you're right. But why?

— I had to turn down a job catering a funeral for 60 people.
— Oh, my God! What happened?
— Sixty guests.

I bet myself that you had beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win!

— We have to do something. Something huge!
— We could climb Mt. Everest.
— Not something stupid. Something huge!

Just be yourself... but not too much.

— You can't give up on your dream!
— No, it's okay. We're going to have three kids. And that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.

— I know it's your party... but I'd like to limit the number of museum geeks.
— Let's not invite any anthropologists. Just the dinosaur dudes.

— You got your passport?
— Yeah, in my third drawer of my dresser. You don't wanna lose that.
— Oh.
— There it is.

It's all London, baby.

— What we did last night was...
— Stupid. Hmm.
— Totally crazy, stupid.
— What were we thinking?
— I'm coming over tonight though, right?
— Oh, yeah, definitely.

— There was this really hot teller at the bank. And she didn't ask me to do it with her in the vault.
— Same thing happened to me. Pizza delivery girl comes over, gives me the pizza and leaves!
— No "Nice apartment, bet the bedrooms are huge"?
— Nothing!
— You know what? We have to turn off the porn.

So, what are you doing bringing her here? There's people here.

— Repeat after me.
— I, Ross.
— Take thee, Emily.
— Take thee, Rachel...

This is what I got going for the party liquor-wise. Get a lot of liquor.