Insurance Quotes

— What did the insurance company say?
— They said, "You don't have insurance. Stop calling us."

— When did Noah build the Ark, Gladys?
— ?
— Before the rain. Before the rain.

— This is my stuff and my place, huh? I can do what I want with this stuff, right? This is my vase here, right? This is Billy Ray's vase, right? I own this vase. And I can play like Harlem
Globetrotters shit with it, right? Okay, you want Meadowlark Lemon shit, right? Hey, man, I'm sorry about that.
— Perfectly all right, William, it was your vase.
— That's a cheap vase, man. That was a fake, right?
— I think we paid $35,000 for it. But I seem to remember we estimated its value at $50,000 for the insurance company. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us a profit of $15,000.
— You want me to break something else?
— No.

Reuben, Lisa, let me just say... that I would insure your marriage any day of the week.

— Davy, why're you so upset?
— You're trying to make a crook outta me and you're asking me why I'm upset. A crook, me?
— Now what's wrong with being a crook?
— What's wrong? It's just wrong. You're taking things that don't belong to you.
— And what harm does that do?
— What about the poor jeweller you're planning to rob?
— We're doing him a good turn. He'll collect the insurance and make himself a stack.
— What about the poor insurance company then?
— Did you ever hear of a poor insurance company? Of course not.

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There Was a Crooked Man

Adolf Carter

Davy Cooper

Ironic Quotes