Rachel Green

— The towels are hanging next to the sink. And you can use the fancy soap.
— Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the Pope.

— Oh, my God! There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello.
— Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.

— You idiot!
— I'm sure you're right. But why?

— Am I a complete idiot for thinking she'd actually show up?
— You're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
— Same difference.

Are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

— I had to turn down a job catering a funeral for 60 people.
— Oh, my God! What happened?
— Sixty guests.

— Is that a hickey?
— Oh, no, I just... I fell down.
— On someone's lips?

— Rachel! When you and Ross dated... did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
— No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

— Janice said, "Hi. Do I look fat today?" And I looked at her...
— You looked at her? You never look. You just answer. It's like a reflex. "Do I look fat?" "No." "Is she prettier than I am?" "No." "Does size matter?"
— No.

— What else did he say? Does he wanna go out?
— Given that he's in love with you... he wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee.

— Okay, listen. I'm sorry about last night. I really want to make it up to you.
— No. You know, there's no need to make it up... How?

— I've never seen so much crap!
— Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.

— It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
— I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
— That guy did not hypnotize me, okay?
— You always pull your pants down and play "Wipe Out" on your butt.

Maybe sometimes I find out things. Or I hear something and I pass that information on. You know, kind of like a public service. It doesn't mean I'm a gossip.

— I think I'm going to go wander out in the rain for a while.
— It's not raining.
— I can't catch a break!

— Is there anything wrong with that?
— Yes!
— Why?
— I have my reasons.