Friends [Season 2, Episode 8]

— The One With the List. All right, check out this bad boy! Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive... built-in spreadsheet capabilities... and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
— What will you use it for?
— Games and stuff.

— My diary! Brilliant! If I'd said it was my diary, she wouldn't have made me read it.
— That's true. You'd be a great person to have around after an emergency.

— Thanks for coming in again.
— Not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash.
— It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Anyway, they're called Fish-tachios. They taste exactly like pistachios... but they're made of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one.
— All right.
— You're not allergic to anything?
— Cat hair.
— Oh, sorry.

Well, then I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.

Joey Tribbiani: — Let's start with the cons because they're more fun. Rachel first.
Ross Geller: — I don't know. I mean... All right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes. You could say that. I guess, sometimes she's a little ditzy, you know? And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. And Julie and I have a lot in common... because we're both paleontologists, right? But Rachel's just a waitress.
Chandler Bing: — Waitress. Got it. You guys want to play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Ross Geller: — I don't know.
Joey Tribbiani: — Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby.
Chandler Bing: — Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross Geller: — She's not Rachel.

— Pheebs, back me up. You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
— By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.

— What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare!
— I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous, my wallet's too small for my 50s... and my diamond shoes are too tight!"