— Okay, you ready?
— Yes.
— Check it out.
— What is it?
— What the hell is that?
— It's a cat.
— That is not a cat!

— In fact, I was undefeated.
— Well, you weighed 200 pounds.

— What's with the coat? How about the animal rights thing?
— I've been reading up, and for your information... minks aren't very nice.

— You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work. It's compromise. Do you always like it? No. Do you do it? Yes. Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky... coffee at Central Perk. It's real life, okay? It's what grownups do.
— I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ross Geller's lunch."
"Ross Geller's lunch, who?"
"Ross Geller's lunch. Please don't take me. Okay?"

— Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
— Really? You two?
<...>
— Not only did we go out... we did it 298 times!

— Chandler's a girl!
— Oh, God! Kindergarten flashback.

— Who initiated the first kiss?
— I don't know.
— God, I just can't imagine Chandler being romantic. Is he romantic with her?
— I don't know.
— Are they in love?
— I don't know.
— You don't know anything.
— I know one thing. They did it right there.

Can't you at least smile or something?

We owe it to sex!

Look, there's no unselfish good deeds. Sorry.