Wednesday Addams

— May I have the salt?
— What do we say?
— Now.

— What are you, darling? Where's your costume?
— This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

Morticia: — Wednesday's at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: — Boys?
Wednesday: — Homicide.

— Is this made from real lemons?
— Yes.
— I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
— Yes.
— Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
— Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

— Pugsley, sit in the chair.
— Why?
— So we can play a game.
— What game?
— [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"

— Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?
— No.
— But what if you met the right man, who worshipped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
— I'd pity him.

— When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die.
— Really?
— It's a tradition.