Pugsley Addams

— Is this made from real lemons?
— Yes.
— I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
— Yes.
— Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
— Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

— Pugsley, sit in the chair.
— Why?
— So we can play a game.
— What game?
— [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"

— When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die.
— Really?
— It's a tradition.

— Children, why do you hate the baby?
— We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
— Especially his head.