Joey Tribbiani

— Have you guys eaten? Uh, Richard and I just finished, and we've got leftovers. Chicken and potatoes. What am I wearing? Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
— One of these times, you'll really be naked and we won't come over.

— So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
— No. You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail. Yeah. Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
— You're building a post office?

— What are we gonna do about my job?
— Not go.
— Great! Road trip, baby!

— What else did he say? Does he wanna go out?
— Given that he's in love with you... he wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee.

— Are you cool with this? I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
— I've never been lower or wetter.

Women can see breasts anytime they want. You look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me?

— Hey, where you been?
— I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee. She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
— Score.

Remember when Ross tried to say "butternut squash"... and it came out, "squatternut bosh"?

— Kathy's being really nice and you just walked away.
— What do you want from me?
— I want you to like her. If that's too damn difficult for you, then the least you could do is pretend.
— I am pretending.
— Then do it better.
— What do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? I can tell her how much I've been thinking of her. I haven't stopped thinking about her since we met. I'm so over the top, want-to-slit-my-own-throat... in love with her that for every minute... I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!

— We have to do something. Something huge!
— We could climb Mt. Everest.
— Not something stupid. Something huge!

— You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
— That's not true. I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals!

Chandler Bing: — I'm back in high school, in the middle of the cafeteria... and I realize I'm totally naked.
Monica Geller: — I've had that dream.
Chandler Bing: — Then I look down and I realize there is a phone... there.
Joey Tribbiani: — Instead of...
Chandler Bing: — That's right!
Joey Tribbiani: — That one, I've never had.
Chandler Bing: — No. All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.

I'm Joey. I'm disgusting.

— I know it's your party... but I'd like to limit the number of museum geeks.
— Let's not invite any anthropologists. Just the dinosaur dudes.

— We haven't dropped this ball for an hour.
<...>
— We are pretty good at this. We totally forgot about lunch.
— That's the first time I've ever missed a meal. I think my pants are a little loose.