Blowjob Quotes (22 Quotes)

— A blowjob from you?
— Well, something tells me, it's not gonna suck itself, Hank.

Nurse? Can you give me a blowjob? Or maybe bring me some tea?

You men have no idea what we’re dealing with. Teeth placement and jaw stress, and suction and gag reflex. And all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing!

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world… And at the same time have our hands free.

The sense of power is such a turn on — maybe you’re on your knees, but you got him by the balls.

— Nurse, suction.
— The patient's not even here yet.
— I know.

What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job still sucks.

Helping someone move is like oral sex: you do it once and then they owe you for life!

So you wanna win a man over, you don't need 10 steps, you need one, and it's called a blowjob.

— Where were you, woman?
— Down in the parking lot, giving blowjobs for cash.
— Were you paying or were they?

I mean, what could ever be better than sex?
For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose... watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.
I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, guthosing orgasm.
Painting a picture, composing an opera, that's just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass.

And now he's got Bonnie, and she's younger and sexier and prettier. She probably gives mint-flavored, organic blowjobs.

— If I was your girlfriend, you know what I would be doing? I'd be sucking your cock every thirty minutes. I'd be baking you fucking cookies all day and shit.
— What kind of cookies?
— Any kind.
— You'd make me snickerdoodle cookies?
— I'd bathe you in snickerdoodle cookies.

You... She stays at your house all the time. She leaves her fucking shit everywhere. You clean it up, you're a nice person. The least she could do is fellate you.

— What the fuck is that?
— What?
— What do you mean "what"? I'm not listening to that shit while I work. Turn it off.
— I can't. I have to have it on to work. It soothes me.
— Well, blow jobs soothe me, but you're not giving me one while I'm working.