Dr. Dorian! I'm far too irritable right now to pretend I don't hate you. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Bob Kelso Season 3 Episode 12 HateFunny Quotes
Fine, Newbie. Let me tell you a little story. It starts every day at five, about the time you're setting your hair for work. I am awakened by a sound. Is that a cat being gutted by a fishing knife? No. That's my son. He's hungry and he's got a load in his pants so big that I'm considering hiring a stable boy. I go ahead and dig in because I do love the lad and, gosh, you know me, I'm a giver. And I'm off to the hospital where my cup runneth over with both quality colleagues, such as yourself, and a proverbial clown car full of sick people. But my pay is about the same as guys who breaks rocks with other rocks and I only have to work 300 or 400 hours a week, so, so far, I'm a pretty happy camper. Then I head back home, where I'm greeted by the faint musk of baby vomit in a house that used to smell like, well, nothing. It used to smell like nothing at all. All I wanna do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is lay on the couch and have a beer, watch some Sports Center, and if I'm not too sweaty, stick my hand right down my pants, but apparently that's not in Jordan's definition of Β«pulling your weightΒ». So, there you are, superstar. Fix that.Show full quote Copy quote Share Report a mistake 3 comments Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 9 AdviceHelp
This whole you leaving the room whenever I enter it thing that you're doing is... I love it. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 2
— Janitor? Have you ever looked at yourself and wished that you were different in every single way? — No... I'm a winner. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Dr. Elliot ReidThe Janitor (Glenn Matthews) Season 3 Episode 1 Funny Quotes
— Dr Kelso, none of my patients have died today. — Really? Mr Ferguson's corpse begs to differ. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Doug Murphy Bob Kelso Season 3 Episode 9 Funny Quotes
— Who left this urine here? — Someone's got a secret admirer. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Carla EspinosaDr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 2 Funny Quotes
— Just a club soda, I'm driving. — It's an open bar, cutie. — Give me a bucket of Scotch. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Bob KelsoBartender Season 3 Episode 22 Alcohol (drug)Funny Quotes
I know. This would be just the most terrific place to work on the planet if it weren't for all these sick people, wouldn't it? Copy quote Share Report a mistake 1 comment Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 2 DoctorsIronic Quotes
There will always be a battle for power between the sexes. Sometimes a man just has to give in. Other times it's enough just to take a positive step. And once in a while, even it seems cliche', a man just has to be there for her. Copy quote Share Report a mistake J.D. Season 3 Episode 15 Relationship
I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the Internet, there'd only be one website left called Bring Back The Porn. Copy quote Share Report a mistake 2 comments Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 4 InternetFunny Quotes
What's the matter with you there Sheila? You look like Maybelline just went belly up. Copy quote Share Report a mistake 1 comment Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 14
— It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids. And we need to figure out something great for the adults. — How about a Russian Roulette booth? And here's the kicker. We put bullets in all the chambers. That way everybody wins! Copy quote Share Report a mistake Dr. Perry CoxJordan Sullivan Season 3 Episode 14 BirthdayFunny Quotes
But still, with so much of life left up to chance, you can't help but look back and wonder... What if things had been different...? Copy quote Share Report a mistake J.D. Season 3 Episode 16 Life
I'd make you swear on a Bible, but holy stuff makes your skin sizzle. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 4 Oath
You have this unbelievable ability to make me doubt myself. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Dr. Perry Cox Season 3 Episode 17 Doubt
I think owning your burdens is half the battle. Still, it's not that daunting if you look around and see what other people have to deal with. Copy quote Share Report a mistake J.D. Season 3 Episode 12 DifficultiesBurden