Bartender

— Just a club soda, I'm driving.
— It's an open bar, cutie.
— Give me a bucket of Scotch.

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— Do you really think the world's going to end?
— Yes.
— Shouldn't we lie down, or put a paper bag over our heads, or something?
— If you like.
— Will it help?
— Not at all.

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

— It must be my guardian angel. It's the only explanation. It was as if the phone booth was calling me. It rang and rang.
— Same here. The microwave's calling me.

— A double Irish.
— Can't do, buddy. I'm closed.
— Listen up. I'm only gonna say this once. I ain't your buddy. When I ask for a drink, you say, Ice with that, sir? Now let's begin again. A double Irish.
— You want ice with that, sir?
— Don't be ridiculous. Who needs ice?
— That'll be five quid, sir.
— Like you said... you're closed.

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Blitz

Detective Sergeant Tom Brant

Your god bless you.

— Would you take a look at that guy? I mean, where are the real fighters gonna come from? The pros. All we got today are jig clowns.
— Clowns?
— That's right. Clowns.
<...>
— You callin' Apollo Creed a clown?
— Well, what else? Look at him.
<...>
— Hey, are you crazy? This man is champion of the world. He took his best shot and became champ. Huh? What shot did you ever take?

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