Friends [Season 2, Episode 18]

— So who broke up with who?
— You kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
— When everybody knows that the, uh, capital of Cambodia is... Is, uh...
— It's not Sean Penn.

There's nothing between us "animal" at all? There's not even, like, um, a little animal? Not even, like... chipmunk sex?

— Ugh, Ross! Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. You care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
— If I make you laugh, here's an idea. Invite Paolo to have a romp in the sack, and I'll stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.

Chandler Bing: — So when I woke up this morning... he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes!
Monica Geller: — Why?
Chandler Bing: — He thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
Phoebe Buffay: — Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler Bing: — Because sometimes after you sleep with someone... you have to kill a fish.

Oh, no, I have to go, because I'm late for my, um... Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um, tonight, it's "Why he would not eat them on a train."