Face your fear. You have a fear of heights? Go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs. Get a bug.

— Oh, I am having the best karma this week. <...>
— What about that, uh, bike messenger you hit?
— Oh, I wasn't talking about his karma.

Well, she spent the last six months getting over him... and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him.

— Hey, Ross? I got a science question. If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens... is that why they're extinct?
— Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
— Hey, I'm not judging.

I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?

Oh, good. Another dinosaur story... When are those gonna become extinct?

— And I, uh, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
— And I don't have any cologne.
— Green bottle next to the shaving cream.
— Oh. Worm medicine for the duck.

There are no questions in the happy place.

— This is just like my parents' divorce... which is when I first started smoking.
— Weren't you 9?
— Yeah. I'm telling you something, that first smoke after naptime...

— So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
— No. You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail. Yeah. Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
— You're building a post office?

— You slept with another woman?
— Oh, you're one to talk.

— Janice said, "Hi. Do I look fat today?" And I looked at her...
— You looked at her? You never look. You just answer. It's like a reflex. "Do I look fat?" "No." "Is she prettier than I am?" "No." "Does size matter?"
— No.

— It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
— I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
— That guy did not hypnotize me, okay?
— You always pull your pants down and play "Wipe Out" on your butt.

— Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
— I was shrieking... like a Marine.

— Hello, people who do not live here.
— Hi.
— I gave you a key for emergencies.
— We were out of Doritos.

— Come on, you didn't kill anybody. These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's just a coincidence.
— Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!