St.Trinians

— Excellent Theft. Good work.
— Bank of England?
— Bank of England too big.
— Woolworths.
— Too small. Just sweets. Come on, think about it. I'm telling you... If you don't use your noggins, we ain't gonna get this dough together. I see erm... Yes... Kelly. What about that?
— Oh, my God! You want to steal Scarlett Johansson?

Hello. Welcome. You must try my latest concoction. It's a real beauty. I call it The Gerald. After my first husband. Cheap, bitter and completely alcoholic.

— Barnaby Fritton. Oh, I haven't heard a word from you in over 15 years.
— I sent flowers.
— A wreath... for Mummy's funeral.

— Now, the subject of today's lesson is crime. Yeah? All right? You're liking me now. So for every need there is a misdeed. And what our need is,
in this particular instance, girls, is to get our hands on half a bar. That's half a million pounds for you little ladies. Any ideas? Who's got an idea? Anyone? Yes? Shut up! You!
— What about extortion?
— Excellent. Well done. Yes. Brilliant Extortion. Now, I know a lot of people think the old, "Give me your money or else," is a bit old hat, but it's a classic, it's perennial, possible. Good work Now who else has got any ideas? Go on, Celia.
— Confidence trickery.
— Confidence trickery. Excellent!
— Credit card fraud.
— Credit card fraud!
— Kidnapping, Flash.
— Kidnapping! That is more like it. Kid... napping!
— So, we take a rich man's wife...
— Excellent.
— ...cut off her ear... and then send it to him special delivery. And then... we just keep chopping... bits of her off... until he pays the ransom.
— You shouldn't be laughing at that. That is too much evil. You should see a counsellor. Don't leave her on her own.

— Like Christmas. What's this, then? Like, sweets, is it? A cigar? Hey, look at me.
— They're tampons, Flash.
— What?! Oh!
— Designer tampons.
— Why? Why do you do that?
— A woman doesn't only want to look beautiful on the outside.
— I can't sell a product I don't believe in. Come on.

— So, what do you think of my girls?
— Hawes!
— I beg your pardon?
— Jemma Hawes, pull your socks up. You're a Cheltenham Lady. I'm sure your girls will try their very best. But It's not the winning that matters.
It's the taking part that counts.
— Snooty cow.
— Sorry?
— Emily Snooty-Cow, do remember to stretch.