Idiots Quotes

You try to make me feel like a complete idiot every time I see you, and you really needn't bother. I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway with or without you.

— Wake up, you. There are troops coming.
— Blue or grey?
— They're grey, like us. Let's say hello to them, then get going. Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... What's his name?
— Lee.
— Lee! God is with us because he hates the Yanks, too! Hurrah!
— God's not on our side, cos he hates idiots also.

— What were you thinking? My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift you threw next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol? Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
— A picture of me?
— No, the definition of the word "idiot," which you fucking are.

Aeschylus died after... a turtle hit him in the head. Jean-Baptiste Lully, died of gangrene. Barbarossa drowned by forgetting to remove his armor to cross a river. And me, I'm dying stupidly too, feeling like a jerk.