Scrubs [Season 9]

— Well, then, Bobo, I figured out what's causing the fainting.
— Men don't faint. We take unintended, decisive naps.

You always put yourself at risk when you decide to trust someone else...

Being there for someone is never easy. You don't want to let down the people you care about. But sometimes, being there for someone means not being there at all.

Sometimes reality takes the form of a kick to the head.

Telling the truth's just the beginning. Owning it's the hard part.

You ask me if I have a god complex? I am god!

— Was mr. Evans in an accident?
— Yes, he was in a train wreck called his life.

I love you. Now, don't talk to me for a couple of days.

Your previous answer was so wrong, It almost became right again!

— But the Gooch and I are gonna take some time off and tour the country.
— We've written a song for every state.
— I'm sure I'll hear all of them when I die and go to hell.

I'm not looking for a relationship. I like to be an island, okay? People can visit the island, but no one gets to stay. Safer that way.

To our deaths, may they be untimely and inconvenient for all our loved ones!

— You're dangerous, aren't you?
— Yes, I am.
— I bet you listen to rap music.

With every couple, there's the hard-ass and then the sweet one.