Knockin' On Heaven's Door

— Rudi? I've got to tell you something!
— I know. But let me tell you something: You don't have to be afraid!

— You stand on the beach and taste the salty smell of the wind that comes from the ocean, and inside you feel the warmth of never ending freedom, and on your lips the bitter, tear-soaked kiss of your lover.
— I have never been to the ocean.
— That can't be true! You have never ever been to the ocean?
— Never — ever!
Both of us are knocking on heavens door, drinking tequila — we are biting-the-dust experts — and you have never — ever been to the ocean! -
— Never — ever!
— Don't you know how it is when you arrive in heaven? In heaven that's all they talk about — the ocean — and how wonderful it is. They talk about the sunsets they have seen. They talk about how the sun turned blood-red before it set. And they talk about how they felt
when the sun was loosing its power, — and the cold that was coming from the ocean, while the rest of the fire was still glowing. And you -
You can't talk about it with them, since you have never been there! You will be a fucking outsider up there! And there is nothing we can do about it?

— Do you really believe we will be sitting on a cloud and talk about the ocean?
— Yes, I really do!

— We are on our way to the ocean. You have never been there, so we decided to go.
— I think I don't want to go.
— Then you can't talk about it up there!
— Yes, I know, I also want to go to the ocean, but... I am afraid.
— Let me tell you: You don't have to be afraid.

— Is the surgery over?
— Yeah, you're in heaven. I'm god and this is St. Peter.
— Salam Aleikum!
— Oh shit!

— Smoking helps.
— Smoking? No, that's dangerous to your health!
— Do I have lung cancer?

— Hi, my name is Martin Brest! As you can see I am robbing your silly bank! And just because I picked out this suit, but I can't afford it!
— You can stop babbling: They don't record the audio anyway.

— This must be the bite-the-dust section. Some kind of broom closet.
— Maybe we should have asked?
— Oh sure! "Nurse, we need salt and lemons, because we want to get drunk with Tequila!"

Nurse? Can you give me a blowjob? Or maybe bring me some tea?

— And it is "blow one's brains" and not just "blow someone"!
— I know!

I don't even have a driver's license! And you're not even Elvis...

Death is a very unpleasant form of life.

— Medicine has made some progress in the last 20 years.
— Maybe technology is better now — but you still can't cure cancer or HIV.
— Yes, there will always be an illness we can't cure.

— Are you the manager?
— Yes.
— They want to blow up the entire hotel.

— Is that a brothel or a chorus line?
— Nobody else knows either...

— That's your wish? Your number one wish?
— Yes, it's not as good as the Cadillac for your mother, but...
— "Fuck two women at once".
— No: "Fuck"!
— You want to "fuck" them.
— That's how you say it in your language!
— That's how you say it in every language! "To sleep": and turn around.