Elizabeth Sloane

— All right, everybody, listen up! I'm going to tell you a story. A priest is giving a young nun a lift home from church one day, and as he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee. The young nun looks up at the priest and says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10." The priest withdraws his hand, embarrassed. Next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says,
"Remember Luke 14:10, Father." The priest apologizes. "The flesh is weak," he says. So he drops her off, and when he gets home, he reaches for his bible and he flips to Luke 14:10. Anyone know what it says? Hmm? What does it say, Pat?
— "Friend, come up higher, then shalt thou have glory!"

Lobbying is about foresight. About anticipating your opponent's moves and devising countermeasures. The winner plots one step ahead of the opposition, and plays her trump card just after they play theirs.

Know your subject, people! Failure to do so may result in the loss of a golden opportunity.

Elizabeth Sloane: — All right, Alex, put Metro Talent on notice, we may need reinforcements.
Lauren: — We're really gonna use movie extras?
Elizabeth Sloane: — The guy shouting about corporate greed becomes a lot less credible standing next to a hobo from central casting, with a banner that reads, "Abolish money."
Pat Connors: — "Shit is fucked up — and bullshit." Best banner at Occupy. Tell me that was one of ours.
Elizabeth Sloane: — Oh, no, that was creative way beyond my capabilities.

— I am not a drug addict, and this line of questioning has no revel... Relevance in this case. My medication doesn't affect my judgment any more than a double espresso. And speaking of intoxication, I can recite from memory a list of upstanding, elected Senators who voted on legislation
while severely inebriated. And just so you know, I think, by now, we are fully aware, and in no danger of forgetting, that Indonesia is a republic, which happens to be situated on the continent of Asia.
— Miss Sloane. Welcome to the party.

Because our system is rotten. It doesn't reward honest politicians, who vote with their conscience. It rewards rat who are willing to sell out their country to keep their noses in the trough.

Elizabeth Sloane: — Palm oil is a key ingredient in Nutella. If the Federal Government taxes it at 300%, it'll cost more for us to gorge ourselves on it.
Jane Molloy: — Isn't palm oil in pretty much everything?
Elizabeth Sloane: — We could have called it the Soap Tax, but the public cares more about Nutella than they do soap.
<...>
Elizabeth Sloane: — Hey, Spencer, did you know that Americans care more about Nutella than they do about soap?
Junior Spencer: — Uh, okay.
Elizabeth Sloane: — See that? No reaction.

Daniel. When I take the stand, you'll see nothing but a granite wall.

A conviction lobbyist need only believe in their ability to win.

Prison's not so bad if you don't have a penis. We don't shank each other, we form self-help groups. There's a black market in lip gloss.

Career suicide is not so bad when you consider the alternative is suicide by career.

— Today is a landmark day, you know why? Because I'm free.
— Name one thing you can do today that you couldn't have done yesterday?
— Quit my job.
— You could've done that yesterday, but it would've been stupid.
— I can quit today and...
— It'd still be stupid. You clear your college debt and celebrate by enrolling in post-grad?