— Maybe you should read your Bible? — Which part? — Oh, its all good! Copy quote Share Report a mistake The Simpsons Season 8 Episode 22 Ned FlandersTimothy LovejoyFunny Quotes
I believe in two things: Discipline and the Bible. Here, you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord. Your ass belongs to me. Copy quote Share Report a mistake The Shawshank RedemptionSamuel NortonSoul
— One week we're figuring out which nightclub to go to... and the next thing I'm reading the Bible. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Man on FireLisa RamosChanges
If thou readest the Scripture and the lives of the saints, only to justify thine own license and profligacy, thy crime is like that of him who extracts poison from the most healthful and necessary herbs. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Walter ScottIvanhoeRebeccaLicentiousness
He supposed that the intent of the Gospels was to teach people, among other things, to be merciful, even to the lowest of the low. But the Gospels actually taught this: before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well-connected. So it goes. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Kurt VonnegutSlaughterhouse Five or, The Children's CrusadeMurderMercy
— Hey, Charlie, there is somethin' in the Bible I do believe. — What's that, sir. — "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife." — I believe in that, too. But what happens when thy neighbor's wife covets you? Copy quote Share Report a mistake Straw Dogs (2011)Charlie VennerDavid SumnerCheating, TreasonMarriageFidelity
— Jocelyn, you look... Uh, you... remind me of the Bible. When God stopped the sun to give Joshua time to defeat the Amorites. — I don't understand. — If I could ask God one thing... it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night... and your beauty... last forever. Copy quote Share Report a mistake A Knight's TaleWilliam ThatcherJocelynBeauty
Is there a father who would persecute his baby with unearned colics and the unearned miseries of teething, and follow these with mumps, measles, scarlet fever, and the hundred other persecutions appointed for the unoffending creature? And then follow these, from youth to the grave, with a multitude of ten-thousandfold punishments for laws broken either by intention or indiscretion? With a fine sarcasm, we ennoble God with the title of Father—yet we know quite well that we should hang His style of father wherever we might catch him.Show full quote Copy quote Share Report a mistake Mark TwainReflections on ReligionGodReligionAtheismInformative Quotes
There are one or two curious defects about Bibles. An almost pathetic poverty of invention characterizes them all. That is one striking defect. Another is that each pretends to originality, without possessing any. Each borrows from the others, and gives no credit, which is a distinctly immoral act. Each, in turn, confiscates decayed old stage-properties from the others, and with naïve confidence puts them forth as fresh new inspirations from on high.Show full quote Copy quote Share Report a mistake Mark TwainReflections on ReligionReligionAtheismGodSarcastic Quotes
CAN'T YOU SEE? I DECEIVED THEM. SUCH WEAK MINDS. Copy quote Share Report a mistake The Mandela Catalogue Season 1 Episode 0 Archangel GabrielAngelsLie
You will not get the crowd to cry hosanna until you ride into town on an ass. Copy quote Share Report a mistake The Guard (2011)Liam O'LearySarcastic Quotes
I think that we will never give the people anything better than the Scriptures... The Bible is universal, it contains all human life... Here is the only book in the world — it has everything... Copy quote Share Report a mistake Unknown authorInformative Quotes
And the gospel must first be published among all nations. Copy quote Share Report a mistake Bible. New TestamentJesus Christ