Well, John. Really well. I mean, you missed almost everything of importance, but, you know...

— Hey, where did you get this? [Takes the ID card] Detective Inspector Lestrade?
— Yeah. I pickpocket him when he's annoying. You can keep that one, I've got plenty at the flat.

— Your friend...
— Listen, whatever you say, I'm behind you 100 per cent.
— ...he's an arrogant sod.
— Well, that was mild. People say a lot worse than that.

— Mrs Hudson's got a phone.
— She's downstairs. I shouted, but she didn't hear.
— I was the other side of London!
— There was no hurry.

— You don't have a girlfriend, then?
— Girlfriend? No, not really my area.
— Mm. Oh, right. Do you have a boyfriend?
— ...
— Which is fine, by the way.
— I know it's fine.
— So, you've got a boyfriend, then.
— No.

— John! What the hell...?
— Bet you never saw this coming.

Some things aren't supposed to sit behind glass, they're made to be touched.

Sometimes you have to look hard at something to see its value.

— You know him better than I do.
— I've known him for five years and, no, I don't.
— So why do you put up with him?
— Because I'm desperate, that's why.

The art of disguise is knowing how to hide in plain side.

John, um... I think you should know I consider myself married to my work and while I'm flattered, I'm really not looking for any...

— Have you got given Mycroft the memory stick yet?
— Yep. He was over the moon. Threatened me with a knighthood... again.

They're not suicides, they're serial killings. We've got a serial killer. Love those.

[Sherlock shoots at the wall]
— What the hell are you doing?
— Bored.

— Well, you have just killed the man.
— Yes, I... It's true... But he wasn't a very nice man.

— He said he bought it in a street market.
— Oh, I don't think that's true. I think he pinched it.
— Yeah, that's Eddie.
— Didn't know its value, just thought it would suit you.
— Oh? What's it worth?
— Nine million pounds.