Laws of Attraction

You know, 80% of women who say they are too busy to have a relationship, are really lonely.

I've known you for 35 years. Alcohol has a very bad effect on you. You get hyper, you get aggressive, you get married.

When you love someone... I believe you should be unselfish enough to give them whatever they want.

Forgive me if I get emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of the day she gets to watch her only daughter put a lock on the bedroom door to keep her husband out.

— Daniel, did we get married last night?
— Yes, I have a feeling we did. The details are a little bit fuzzy.

— Actually, you're lucky I don't sue you for injuries sustained when I picked up those file boxes.
— You, uh, sustained an injury?
— I broke a nail.

— I've enjoyed reading about you in the society pages. Are you, uh, really 56?
— Parts of me are.

— Mother, what is this?
— Oh, the girls and I are having a lip party later. You can join us if you like. David takes fat out of our butts and injects it into our lips.
— That gives a whole new meaning to «talking outta your ass».

— Oh, Serena. She understands the last thing to go on a woman are her shoulders.
— She's bound to win the Nobel Prize.