Michael Bloomberg

A good salesperson asks for the order, It’s like the guy who goes into a bar, and walks up to every gorgeous girl there, and says ‘Do you want to fuck?’ He gets turned down a lot – but he gets fucked a lot, too!

Make the customer think he's getting laid when he's getting fucked.

The only liberal I trust is a rich old liberal. Why? Because they're old enough to understand what they're saying, and they're rich enough to pay for what they say!

I know for a fact that any self-respecting woman who walks past a construction site doesn’t get a whistle will turn around and walk past again and again until she does get one.

The three biggest lies are: the check’s in the mail, I’ll respect you in the morning, and I’m glad I’m Jewish.