Algernon

It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!

"I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.".
"It never is, sir."
"Lane, you're a perfect pessimist."
"I do my best to give satisfaction, sir."

"Do you know it is nearly seven?"
"Oh! It always is nearly seven."
"Well, I'm hungry."

"Cecily and Gwendolen are perfectly certain to be extremely great friends. I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have met, they will be calling each other sister."
"Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first."

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Only relatives, or creditors, ever ring in that Wagnerian manner.

There is no use speculating on that subject. Divorces are made in Heaven

Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right.

Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

One must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life.

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me.

"What do they talk about?"
"The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course."
"What fools!"

I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.

"If ever I get married, I'll certainly try to forget the fact."
"The Divorce Court was specially invented for people whose memories are so curiously constituted."