«Dear Cindy, I've recently been introduced to your column, I don't have many people to talk to, so I thought, well... here goes. My son has the aids. I never approved of his lifestyle, and was always honest about it. Now, I live in shame, and have been telling people he has cancer. I know most of your stuff is about broken hearts and romance, but why can't I move past this? I don't have a lot of time to find an answer here. Please... help me. I don't have a lot of time to find an answer, please help me.»
— It is not how your son dies, but rather, how he lived. He may not agree with all your life choices either, but I'll bet he loves you. Don't be angry at yourself for feeling shame, be angry at the people who instill shame in you. Let go of your prejudice, and grab hold of your son. You'll have plenty of time after he's gone for anger.