This woman is the most adorable creature I've ever been in contact with, and if she turns out even to be as good-looking as a mailbox, I'd be crazy not to turn my life upside down and marry her.

— Ugh... What could possibly motivate anybody to enter a beauty pageant is beyond me.
— Scholarship money, a chance to see the world, broaden your horizons, meet new people...
— So join the Marines.

— That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.
— She's an angel.
— She only has one eye.
— Yeah, but it's her good one.

Cusimano, the dentist, has gone crazy for her. One day he was distracted ass he walked by... and pulled a healthy tooth instead of the rotten one!

— Look, the point is there are no unattractive women here. I mean, where are the ordinary, every-day women? They don't exist, because this is a movie.
— No. This is California.