Bad Luck Quotes

— I've just worked out why I can never find true love.
— Why is that?
— English girls. They're stuck up, you see. And I am primarily attractive to girls who are, you know, cooler, game for a laugh. Like American girls. So I should just go to America. I would get a girlfriend there instantly. What do you think?
— I think it's crap, Colin.
— That's where you're wrong. American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent.
— You don't have a cute British accent.
— Yes, I do! I'm going to America.
— Colin, you're a lonely, ugly asshole, and you must accept it.
— Never. I am Colin, God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.

I'm not a bad person. Just had bad luck.

— Do you know for what reason you've been brought here?
— For starters, I'm unlucky.
— The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mr. Fisher. You are unlucky so that I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself, for instance. Yesterday, you were better off than you are today, but it took today for you to realize it, but today has arrived, and it's too late. You see? People are never happy with what they have. They always want what they had, what someone else has.

It was the night before finals. It wasn't how I expected it to be. My friends had gone and so had Azzurra. It was just me and my bad luck.

— What do you call it when somebody keeps gettin' smashed up in car accidents?
— Bad insurance risk?
— That's me with men. I was jinxed from the word go. First time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.