Sherlock [Season 2, Episode 2]

— What the hell are you doing here?
— Oh, nice to see you too!

— Hello, Greg.
...
— Is that why you're calling yourself "Greg"?
— That's his name.
— Is it?
— Yes. If you'd ever bothered to find out.

Get out, I need to go to my mind palace.

You may not be the most luminous of people, but as a conductor of light, you are unbeatable. Some people who aren't geniuses have an ability to stimulate it in others.

— I need a case.
— You've just solved one, by harpooning a dead pig, apparently!
— Oh, that was this morning.

In your own time. But quite quickly.

The case of the vanishing glow-in-the-dark rabbit. Nato's in uproar.

— We'll get caught.
— We won't! Well, not yet.
— Caught in five minutes.
" — Hi, we thought we'd have a wander around your top secret weapon base.
— Really? Great. Come in, kettle's boiled. "
That's if we don't get shot.

— Oh, please, can we not do this, this time?
— Do what?
— You being all mysterious with your... cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool.
— I don't do that.
— Yeah, you do.

I'm putting my best man onto it. I can always rely on John to send me the relevant data, as he never understands a word of it.

You were saying sorry. Don't spoil it.

Listen, what i said before, I mean it, John. I don't have friends. I've just got one.

— Oh! Looks like Mrs Hudson finally got to the wife in Doncaster.
— Hm. Wait until she finds out about the one in Islamabad.

— You're being funny now?
— Thought it might break the ice, a bit.
— Funny doesn't suit you. Let's stick to ice.

I'm afraid, John. Afraid. I've always been able to keep myself distant. Divorce myself from feelings. But look, you see, body's betraying me. Interesting, yes? Emotions. The grit on the lens, the fly in the ointment.