Scrubs [Season 5, Episode 4]

— Guys, listen, we really need to help Elliot.
— She said she doesn't want help.
— If J. D. Were drowning and said he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you?
— Depends. What if there're hot chicks? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him.
— Say there's no women.
— There's always women at the pool!
— Fine. He's in a pond.
— Oh, I would never swim in a pond. They're infamous for serpents.
— You could swim at the Y, men only. Have you been on man night?
— Not me.
— Fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!
— So now a brother can't swim.
— Why do you have to go there?
— Oh, my God! I would rather play Jiggly Ball than try to explain this to you two idiots.

It's a hip-hop world, son. Keep up or get out of the way.

Oh, sorry, rich boy. My TV doesn't get the news. Just The Bible Channel and some kind of Chinese boxing.

— It's true, Mr. Keck, you could probably get by without the surgery. But why would you? I'm the smartest, most skilled surgeon in this place.
— You stuck in that candy machine?
— I paid for my Rolos, I'm getting my Rolos.

— There was one spot open in the study. I gave it to the rich guy because with the money he's donating, I can reopen the prenatal unit.
— What really bothers me is that you can look in there at John Morrison, a guy you essentially gave a death sentence to... and just not care.
— It's not my job to care, Perry.