Scrubs

By the by, this moment is so great that I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one, and raise a family of tiny little moments.

— The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
— Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
— Why a penny?
— I don't know.
— Did you stick a penny in there?
— No, I was making small talk.
— If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

You're scaring everyone in the hospital. They're delivering a baby and it's using the umbilical cord to crawl back in.

It's a mystery how one woman can drive you crazy over and over again.

Life's too short to hold a grudge.

Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

I am your new friend, so suck it!

I've been thinking lately about taking chances... <...> and how it's just about overcoming your fears. Because every time you take a big risk in your life no matter how it ends up you're always glad you took it.

— You gotta help pull J. D. out of this spiral.
— Any other day, I'd say «No», but today, I'm gonna go ahead — and just say, «No».

We are all going to die someday. For the lucky few of us it'll be nice and fast. But for most of us it'll be just as long and slow and painful as a conversation with you.

— I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market.
— I'm sure the pulse setting on your showerhead will be devastated.

It's weird realising you missed someone you barely know.

Sometimes it really sucks to do the right thing. Trying to teach a bunch of jerks... or once again, facing off with a jerk.

Honestly, it was like death and I had a staring match and, well, death blinked. All of you know I'm not one to toot my own horn, but...

— Are you an idiot?
— No, sir, I'm a dreamer.

— Heaven's a diner?
— Get anything you want, dear.
— Ooh! Maybe I'll have some flapjacks!
— They don't have those.
— No flapjacks in heaven!?! Are flapjacks evil?