Scrubs [Season 8]

Hey, Anderson, before I retired, we never got to have a heart-to-heart. I'm not really a touchy-feely type, but, well, hell, I'll just say it. You're a jackass.

Maybe in the end, all you can really hope for... is that your last thought is a nice one.

I'm feeling so open and vulnerable that it's literally filling me up with rage and hatred, so I should go.

— There are those who say I look like a young Kenny Loggins.
— Who?
— Me.

No one ever wants the person who hurt them to ever see how badly they've been hurt.

Oh sure, I'm a lawyer, but that's only because I took the Bar exam in Alaska, and they only have like four laws and most of them are about when you can and cannot kill... seals.

Life is more interesting when you look at the back of things.

— We're going to have to let you go, Marv. But, stiff upper lip.
— I'm sorry, Dr. Itor.
— Call me Jan.

Plus, I have forgotten more about medicine than you two will ever know.

— Why aren't you taking the job, Perry?
— You said it was a bureaucratic nightmare. And I don't want to be miserable.
— You love being miserable.
— I don't want everyone to hate me.
— Everybody already hates you. You wanna know the real reason why you don't want the gig, champ? Because you're a fraidy-cat.
— Beg your pardon?
— Didn't you hear me? Are fraidy-cat's ears too tiny?
— Don't push me, Bob.
— You're right. I'm sorry. Would it make you feel any better to bat this around for a while?

— You're too hard on yourself.
— No, I'm not. I'm just stupid and ugly and I have a pig face.

Still, sometimes when you make big decisions, life starts going so fast that it seems like you're not even moving throught it. It just happens to you.

— Now, since the rest of your brains are so tiny, from now on I'll speak like a caveman. You. Bad doctors. Me. Good doctor. You follow. Patient. Iron high. Heart swollen big. You. What make sick?
— Could it be hemochromatosis?
— Correct. Rounds over. You go.

— Look, Ted. You're obviously upset about the ukulele girl. So, we've called a truce to help you out.
— I'm not upset.
— Ted, we found you in a park, throwing rocks at old couples.
— Why should they be happy?

They say ignorance is bliss. The problem is, it's only a matter of time before the smile gets wiped off your face.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.