10 Things I Hate About You

— Looking for me?
— Yes, if you're the ladies' room.

— She hates you.
— Oh, I'm touched.

— I'm dating this older guy...
— How much older is "older"?
— 26. Or maybe 31. It's hard to tell.

I've seen red flags from you ever since I met you! In fact, you look like Communist China!

Thank God you're home safe so I can kill you.

Welcome to hell. You're lucky. You're just visiting.

— You do realize that this is your only car, and if you destroy it, I'm not getting you another one.
— Relax, Dad. I printed a comprehensive instruction manual off the Internet. Got nine out of ten stars.

— Hey, what's going on?
— Just wrapping up another day in paradise.
— Listen, about the other day. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone through your bag or stabbed you in the foot.
— Ah, don't sweat it. But let's keep our distance. The doctor said it would heal faster if I reduced the amount of crazy in my life. [He leaves]
— Crazy? I'm not crazy. Yes, I'm talking to myself. It's a sign of genius.

— You brought a little kitty for naptime?
— It's my lucky charm. Okay, you got me. I use it to smuggle heroin.

— If she's your little flower, what am I?
— Your my big, tough cactus.

— Here's your chance.
— Ooh, goody.
— Come om. You want me to kiss you.
— The lead singer, yes. You, not so much.

— Let us pray. Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful harvest, and bless the underprivileged and teenage children in new high schools. Amen.
— Okay, Bianca, what gives?
— Kat, please! Okay, Bianca, what gives?
— Well, Daddy, I've been thinking about my faith a lot recently ever since I met this great group of kids at school. Speaking of which, they invited me to this killer Bible study tonight. Can I go?
— And the Oscar goes to... Bianca Stratford for Lying to Her Farther!
— Zip it, Satan. Dad, I'd really hate to miss it. I think tonight I get my purity ring!
— And I think tonight you'll be home with the purity security!

Welcome to the Padua High talent show! Before we begin, a reminder... If your phone rings, it will be confiscated, and I need a new one, so go ahead, make my day.

— Patrick Verona has spent more time in this office than I have.
— For what?
— Here. Let me get his file for you. Oh, wait a minute. It says here it's none of your business.

I'm not that girl. The girl who's turned on by this bad-boy crap. I'm not skipping home to scribble in my journal that maybe you're a vampire.

It's the first day of school, so remember the most important thing: don't get pregnant.