Bianca Stratford

— She hates you.
— Oh, I'm touched.

— I'm dating this older guy...
— How much older is "older"?
— 26. Or maybe 31. It's hard to tell.

— You brought a little kitty for naptime?
— It's my lucky charm. Okay, you got me. I use it to smuggle heroin.

— Let us pray. Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful harvest, and bless the underprivileged and teenage children in new high schools. Amen.
— Okay, Bianca, what gives?
— Kat, please! Okay, Bianca, what gives?
— Well, Daddy, I've been thinking about my faith a lot recently ever since I met this great group of kids at school. Speaking of which, they invited me to this killer Bible study tonight. Can I go?
— And the Oscar goes to... Bianca Stratford for Lying to Her Farther!
— Zip it, Satan. Dad, I'd really hate to miss it. I think tonight I get my purity ring!
— And I think tonight you'll be home with the purity security!

— Look, if I wanted to go on a date with him, I'd ask him myself. Feminism, ever heard of it?
— Mm, isn't that the thing that killed romance?

— We need a ride.
— Well, my mom's at her angry divorcee meeting tonight.

Before I do anything, I have to get out of being grounded, which means convincing my father that I am trustworthy, dependable, and unlikely to have sex. So much harder than stopping terrorists.

— You're my first G. B. F.
— What...a G. B. F.?
— "Gay best friend". See you tomorrow!
— She's kidding... She was just kidding. It's nothing.

— I'm not stupid. You went to a club, which means you have a fake ID.
— No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Get out of there!
— I'm not sure what amazes me more. The fact that you lied to Dad or that this ID is so good.

— Why don't you try a car wash? I remember the summer before sophomore year...
— Something really boring happend. Awesome story, Dad.
— A car wash? I love it! Thanks, Daddy.
— Great idea, Dad. Half-naked cheerleaders, wet and soapy, standing on the street asking for money.
— No car wash.
— Daddy!

— Did you understand what I said?
— See, that's the problem. Great with the repeating, not so great with the understanding. But I'm guessing it was about flowers. Props for bringing props, by the way!

— You girls are late. Where were you?
— We were having sex with the soccer team. It took longer then expected.

— So what happens tomorrow if you don't get a flower?
— I'll just go home sick... and never come back.

— I...use that data to carefully plot out our first encounter, so as to easily befriend and beguile her.
— Beguile? Big word, Shakespear.

— Boys want to put a baby in you. Are we clear, Bianca?
— Well, they'd have to do it in vitro, since I can't date until Kat does.

— You drive me.
— No way, Miss Daisy.
— I'll tell Dad you're not a virgin.
— You have one hour.