The Holiday

Shakespeare said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." Oh, what an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I'm more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I'm constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said, "Love is blind." Now, that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then, of course, love can also be found. Even if just for the night. And then there's another kind of love. The cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that, I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love alone. We are the victims of the one-sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones. The walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space.

You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God's sake.

What I'm trying to say is I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or... how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night, going over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted... that will eventually begin to fade.

— Sex makes everything complicated. Even when you don't have it, the not having it makes things complicated.
— Which is why it's usually better to have it.

I like corny. I'm looking for corny in my life.

Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over and you lose that argument with yourself that she's not for you.

Severe stress makes women age prematurely because stress causes the DNA in our cells to shrink until they can no longer replicate. So when we're stressed, we look haggard. This is just women, not men. I'm sorry. And remember they used to say that single women over 35 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married. Okay, that was horrible. But now our generation is also not getting married. And bonus, real terrorists actually became part of our lives. So the stress of it all shows up on our faces, making us look haggard.

Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady. But for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.

— So he stays in touch?
— All the time.
— So that makes it impossible to forget him, which is great for him, but sucks for you.

You've gotta fight the fight, kid.

I'm not going to fall in love with you, I promise.

I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true.

Iris, if you were a melody. I used only the good notes.

— Sex is pretty basic, right? Am I pretty much talking you out of this?
— Strangely, not at all. How do you feel about foreplay?
— I think it's overrated. Significantly overrated.
— You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting girls I've ever met.

Let's get this embarrassment over with.